In case anyone at all is interested, here is my recap of the 2016 Summer Olympics

Hundreds of athletes and thousands of visitors were decidedly NOT done in by mosquitoes, raw sewage and desperate violent criminals. In fact, the crime and the deplorable conditions were much more on display in Sochi Russia than in Rio – but Russia is far whiter and therefore it’s a lot easier to forget about squalid conditions in a European setting than in a South American setting.

Speaking of Russia – yes the state sponsored PED cavalcade of that nation was a huge story going into Rio, but then again, so was the more subtle hues of drug-enhanced individual athletes by their coaches and teams (USA included – I’m looking at you Justin Gatling!) who proved once again the universal truth about competition fueled by money and fame: If your aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying.

Being an American and watching NBC coverage of the Olympics reminds me of that famous New Yorker cover that shows how Manhattanites see the word – 9^th Avenue looming large in the foreground while China and Japan appear as mere blips on the map. Just like that illustration, NBC execs think all we see or want to see is gymnastics, swimming and beach volleyball, while all the other sports are tiny far off islands of not-worth-our-time outliers.

Charisma counts – big time. Yes, Michael Phelps is technically the greatest and most decorated Olympian of all time, but he simply cannot carry the jockstrap of Usain Bolt when it comes to commanding worldwide attention. Phelps has the backing and support of the world’s only superpower and a sizable army of marketers, image-makers and publicity folks, yet Bolt, from tiny and poor Jamaica is far, far more of a cultural, social and sporting icon then Phelps will ever be. Michael seems like a nice enough guy, but his vanilla personality fades like a Bulgarian weightlifter running the 100 meters against an athlete built to streak across the track and also streak across every newspaper, magazine, computer and TV screen in the world.

Ryan Lochte is THE American athlete for our Post-Trump era. He possesses real talent, but it’s not nearly as potent as he thinks it is. He’s dripping with white male privilege and bro-centric douche-baggery, yet he can really turn on the charm when needed. He has the functional IQ of a house plant, yet he’s smart enough to know how effective thinly veiled racism can be as a cover. After these Olympics, Lochte in US sports, like Trump in US politics, has become the living embodiment of American confusion and angst before the rest of the world. We can’t explain either of these men and we feel someone dirty even having to try.

The Rio and Sochi Games both proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Summer and Winter Olympics should be forever tethered to a permanent location – Greece in Summer and Switzerland in Winter. The corruption, cost overruns, colossal waste, and financial ruin that haunt the host cities has become an almost masochistic ritual in civic emolliating. It’s no longer interesting to wonder about which Olympics was best, but rather more fascinating to ponder which city lost the most money. Please, let’s all band together and force the IOC to anchor future Olympics to two sites. Let’s save billions, crush graft and cronyism and simply enjoy the athletic completion – in two really nice places!

Finally, while men are still stronger and faster, these Olympics demonstratively showed that women athletes are just much more compelling. Because their sports are not huge money-makers, women athletes aren’t coddled brats with an Olympic-sized sense of entitlement. They often work harder because they don’t have the same money-fueled support system to pave their way. They routinely demonstrate gold medal-worthy levels of sportsmanship that is almost unheard of in the male sports. And more often than not, women are WAY more balanced and grounded then their male counterparts. Need proof? Don’t make me bring up Lochte again.