Quick question: what is the one absolutely indispensable
item every passenger must have when they board a commercial flight today? No,
it’s not a neck pillow, no it’s not a credit card to buy outrageously priced
snacks and no it’s not a pain reliever to help cope with cramped spaces and
uncomfortable seats.
The one thing that every passenger simply must have when
they board a plane today is a camera phone.
For a camera phone has now become a passenger’s last line of
defense against an industry that has completely devolved into a dystopian
hell-scape of customer disservice and outright abuse. A camera phone now plays
the critical dual role of eyewitness and possible deterrent to the open
hostility and civil rights-trampling that has become almost routine in the
“Friendly Skies.”
And in case you think I’m exaggerating, please allow me to
refer you to exhibit A, the Game of Thrones-esque behavior of United Airlines
employees and complicit law enforcement personnel who bloodied a man and
dragged him off a plane.
Of course you’ve all seen the video tape, and you’ve
probably viewed it more times than you’ve viewed footage of the recent US
bombing of Syria. According to Goggle, that piece of passenger-recorded video
has been viewed more than 100 million times in less than three days.
But imagine if that reprehensible and potentially criminal
behavior had occurred away from the prying lens of a smartphone? What would be
the fall-out for United if there was no recorded evidence of its actions?
Indeed, if “The Great Airplane Dragging of 2017” had
occurred without video confirmation, the entire episode would be a one or two
day story that quickly fades into oblivion. United would make loud and numerous
pronouncements of innocence and thinly veiled threats against the passenger’s
“false accusation.” Ultimately it would be a contest where the word of one man
would have to stand against a global juggernaut with billions of dollars and
thousands of lawyers and consultants at its disposal. I think we all know how
that would turn out.
However, this in-plane mugging was diligently
recorded by several passengers with their phones. A few clicks later, mere
seconds of upload time and suddenly, the global juggernaut is staggering back
on its heels and frantically searching for cover. In one day, United lost $1
billion in value; its ridiculously tone deaf CEO is on the ropes; and cable
news and the internet are skewering the hapless company like a winged pin
cushion.
The other thing this particular camera phone footage has
done is to rally most of the world against a common enemy – the airlines.
Because this industry has sunk to such levels of outright customer hatred, it
has fomented conditions which not only allowed this terrible incident to
happen, but also to lower our incredulity toward it. As such, we are all
appalled by the video, yet not too surprised that the act itself was conducted
by an airline and an industry we’ve learned to despise. Not so much in a
physical sense, but in a figurative sense, all of us have been dragged around
by the airlines more than any of us care to remember.
And that won’t change anytime soon. With deregulation,
terrible business models and a host of other problems, flying isn’t going to
get better and certainly the airlines aren’t going to suddenly become even
merely bad at customer service.
Therefore, I urge everyone to protect themselves as best
they can.
Later this summer, my family and I are taking a big vacation
to Europe and to my great horror, we are flying United. We have to as our
choices are severely limited.
And so, when I get my kids ready for the flight I will
instruct them as follows: pack only one carry-on so we don’t run the risk of
the incompetent carrier losing our luggage; stretch your legs and back
vigorously in the boarding area so you can prep for the crappy seats and
ever-decreasing leg room on our long flight and finally - make sure your phones are charged and
accessible.
If we’re lucky our phones will only record the splendor of
the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre and not the heavy hands of a United flight
attendant, but we’ll be ready all the same.
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